It’s been a while since I last sat here and wrote a blog post. It has been a long and tiring few months. There have been a lot of positives, but equally a lot of negatives and I thought I would take the time to talk about it.
Unfortunately, my Nan suddenly became very poorly, very quickly, and she passed away a month ago. It came as a big surprise to our family, and it really made me realise how quickly your whole world can change. Although it was a very quick process from when we found out she was ill, to when she passed away, it still felt like the longest time. We had to take every day as it came, and although it is heartbreaking to know that she is gone, I have been able to find some peace knowing that she is at rest and out of any pain.
One positive thing to come out of this, if you’re going to find anything positive from something so sad, is that the whole family came together and for the first time in a long time, we were all so close. I’m sure my Nan would have been so happy to see that, and I hope that she is looking over us and smiling that this finally happened.
I also had a job interview for a company that I was really interested in working with. I got through 3 stages of the interview process which were a phone interview, an online task and an in person interview. Unfortunately I didn’t get the job which was a real set back for me, but I am confident that I did the best I could do, and I now have more experience for future interviews that I may have. The one thing that was frustrating about this, however, is that when I was told that I was unsuccessful, all I was sent was a generic email from a ‘no reply’ address which I thought was a really crap thing to do. Especially when the candidate has spent so much time preparing, taking time out of their day to complete the interview processes, the least an employer could do would be to actually have a conversation to explain why they didn’t get the job. Although, it has shown me that maybe that wouldn’t be a company that I should work with if that is how they treat potential employees.
Moving onto something a little more positive, I went on holiday to Centre Parcs at the beginning of the month. If you haven’t been before, I would definitely recommend going because it has honestly been one of the greatest holidays I have had. I went with my boyfriend and every day was spent cycling around the resort, completing activities that you wouldn’t usually do at home and just being generally positive. It was so relaxing and I had so much fun. I will do a separate blog post on my trip though, because there were so many amazing parts to it that it deserves it’s own post!
Now, about my mental health. I have been seeing a therapist once a week for 50 minutes each session. I didn’t realise how much of a relief it would be to have somebody completely unbiased, be able to listen to you talk about your worries and problems. I have had to go private though as the NHS were unable to offer me anything, but it has definitely been worth the money, even though it can be a struggle to pay for it every week. I haven’t had any sessions during this month as I have been away on holiday and had family commitments, and my therapist has also been on holiday, so the last few weeks have definitely been a real test for me. I have seen such an improvement in myself to the person I was last year, and the person I am now. Although I still suffer with the anxiety and low mood, it is a lot more manageable and I feel a lot more relaxed in every day life. I owe that to therapy, but also the fact I have taken some time off my contraception pill which I have realised definitely played a part in my low mood, as since being off it I have felt a lot happier and positive.
Overall, it has been a difficult few months and definitely life changing, but I’m feeling okay and I’m going to continue to work on myself to be the best version I can be.